God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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