I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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