my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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