So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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