I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
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