ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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