I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
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I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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