I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
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