So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dignity is for republicans.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize