she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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