whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize