maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh god it's open bar.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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