I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize