i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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