I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
operation harelip BJ is a go
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize