is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize