Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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