beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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