just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
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Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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