sarcasm needs its own font
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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