I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize