FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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