put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my liver is dry heaving
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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