I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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