you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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