I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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