Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it glows. i had to have it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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