Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize