That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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