nutella sex= disaster
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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