I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
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Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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