i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize