tell your sister to shave her snatch
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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