have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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