Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize