roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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