i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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