They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize