Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize