I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
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I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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