This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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