At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize