ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize