benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize