I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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