2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize