thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
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You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
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So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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