Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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