She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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