You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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